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01 June 2010 @ 21:42
Fic: The Bees, The Bees (The Five Times Donna Met the Doctor Without Realising It Remix)  
Title: The Bees, The Bees (The Five Times Donna Met the Doctor Without Realising It Remix)
Author: livii
Characters/Pairings: Donna, Five, Eight, Ace (mild Donna/Ace), Two, Nine
Rating: G
Summary:How d'you find the Doctor? Just look for trouble, and he'll turn up.
Notes: Remix of A Different Man by aralias for Remix Redux 8. Thanks to some_stars, biichan, and paranoidangel42 for looking this over!

[1] Walk Like An Egyptian

Egypt, it turned out, was rubbish.

Oh, sure, Donna acknowledged that the pyramids were very impressive, and the Sphinx magnificent, but it was hot, crowded, the electricity in her hotel kept going on and off at random, and she kept thinking I could have seen these being built, if I wanted.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. She stabbed the postcard she was writing with her pen, blew her fringe off her face with a huff for the fifth time in two minutes.

"You'll ruin that if you're not careful," said a voice from over her shoulder. She didn't bother to turn around.

"Yeah, but it's not your problem, is it, sunshine?" She stabbed the postcard again for effect. It felt good.

"Carry on, then," the voice said. "Let it all out. While you're working on that, can you tell me if you've noticed any pattern to the electricity outages at this hotel? Any certain times, any strange occurrences when it goes off?"

"No," Donna said, without really considering the question. "It just goes on and off, for god's sake."

"Fair enough," the voice said. "Sorry to bother you. Watch out, there's a bee there, don't let it sting you."

Donna turned around in a hurry, and saw the man walking off into the distance. Blond, wearing a cricket jacket. Weirdo. She swatted the bee away. Strange, she thought, she wouldn't have expected to see one here.

That night the power went off, and when it came back on, half the hotel guests were wandering about in a panic, shouting about strange creatures that had attacked them.

Donna found herself spending her last day in Egypt helping sort people out. Funny enough, it was the best part of her trip. Trouble, she decided, was something to start looking for.

[2] These shoes. They fit perfectly!

Crop circles, it turned out, were very, very large. And muddy. And in the middle of bloody nowhere.

"Next time," Donna muttered to herself as she tramped back to her car, "investigate possibilities that don't involve ruining my good boots."

"Talking to yourself is a sure sign of mental instability," a voice said suddenly, right by her ear. "Well, if you find yourself answering back. My answering back doesn't count, since I'm a real person who happened to overhear you. Those are nice boots."

Donna jumped. There was a man walking beside her. He was short and slim, and wearing an outrageous dress-up coat.

"Where'd you come from, then?" she asked, amazed.

The man grinned. "I was investigating these crop circles," he said. "I reckon they're made by aliens." His eyes were dancing.

Donna frowned at him. "Really."

"Oh yes," the man continued, oblivious to her tone of voice. "Don't you believe in aliens? Little green men from Mars? That's rubbish, you know, the aliens on Mars are not little and definitely not green. At least, that's what I seem to recall."

Donna stared at him, wondering if she'd got lucky already. "You wouldn't happen to have a relative, would you? Tall, skinny alien? Only you talk just like him."

"I don't know," the man said cheerfully. "I don't remember much of anything. You should ask Fitz. I'm sure he's around here somewhere."

Another nutter, Donna thought. Still, harmless enough, and not too hard on the eyes.

"I'm going home now," she said, "but if you do figure out where the aliens that made these crop circles are, give me a shout."

The man smiled. It really was a lovely smile, Donna thought. She'd hang about a bit longer, but her mum was going to have a fit about her keeping the car out this late as it was.

"Take care," the man said, giving her an small bow. "And don't give up on those boots!"

Before bed, Donna spent an hour scrubbing the mud off of her boots. They came out surprisingly well, and she felt a rush of accomplishment. She wondered, briefly, if the man had really just been talking about her footwear.

[3] Nessie

The sea monster investigation was hampered by a very loud explosion, several aftershocks, and quite a lot of falling rubble.

"Sorry," said a girl, brunette with a ridiculous jacket, as she held out a hand to help Donna up off the ground. "Didn't know you were here when I set off that Nitro-9. Are you okay?"

"Fine," Donna said, though her dignity was somewhat bruised. She started to move, and groaned. Bruised elsewhere, too.

"Sit down for a bit," the girl said. "Catch your breath. We've got this one covered, there's nothing to worry about."

A man appeared in the distance, waving an umbrella. The girl waved back.

"That's the Professor," she said, as if it explained everything. Donna found herself nodding along; after what she'd just been through, letting someone else take over for a while, whatever their name, sounded just fine.

"This a hobby of yours?" she asked, to make conversation.

"Blowing stuff up? Oh, yes," the girl replied. She grinned. "Want me to take a look at your injuries there? I saw you wince. I have some medical stuff in my bag. Bandages, rubbing alcohol, you know."

Some time later, the man with the umbrella reappeared, waving and shouting something incomprehensible. They hurriedly straightened their clothes and tried not to laugh too much while doing so.

"Gotta run," the girl said. "The Professor calls. Nice meeting you, Donna."

"You too," Donna said, grinning widely. She watched as the girl ran off.

Back at her car, she realized she'd never actually found out what was up with the sea monster, she'd never got the girl's name, and was pretty sure she'd never given the girl her name, either.

Trouble, she thought, shaking her head, and smiling.

[4] Unidentified Flying Object

"I told you," Donna said, speaking slowly and carefully, "they were not just lights in the sky. I saw their spaceships! They were round and yellow with lots of blinking things."

The police officer taking her statement just shook his head and closed his pad.

"Idiot," Donna muttered under her breath as he walked away. Here she was, real live aliens and the cops thought she was just another loony UFO freak.

As she stood there, a man walked over to her. "It's all right, my dear," he said. "I believe you. Can you tell me a little bit more about the ships? Did you see any of their inhabitants?"

Donna looked at the man. He looked like a hobo - scruffy, with messy hair. Somehow, though, she felt comfortable with him. She was getting used to weirdos, she thought. Good practice for travelling with the Doctor later, anyway.

"No, just the ships. Sorry. You tracking them too?"

"Yes, yes," the man said, suddenly distracted. A girl in a shiny silver catsuit was running towards him. A girl in - what?

Before Donna could voice her amazement, the man was shaking her hand and apologizing. "I simply must run, Zoe appears to be in a state, which can only mean they've captured Jamie, since I gave strict instructions for them to stay together. Oh dear, oh dear. It was lovely meeting you, do give a shout if you find out anything more about the spaceships, and do be careful, won't you?"

"I will be," Donna replied, and the man smiled and took off at a clip.

Donna stayed up late that night, out on the hill with Gramps' telescope. At a quarter to twelve, the sky lit up, explosions of what could be fireworks all over London. She watched the skies for the spaceships for the next few weeks, but they never came back.

[5] Apis Mellifera

This was more like it, Donna thought. The firm's lobby she was temping at was plush, upscale, and her receptionist's desk was exceedingly comfortable. Let trouble come to her, for a change, she thought. The firm was dodgy enough; it probably would. After all, how could honey sales possibly finance such a large operation?

She hadn't expected trouble to come in the form of a tall Northerner with big ears and a battered leather jacket.

"You kidding me?" she asked, laughing, as he held out a small wallet. "That's not a badge."

"It's not?" he said, scratching his head. "How come this doesn't work on you?" He peered at her more closely. "Do I know you? You look familiar. Like someone I used to know."

"I don't think so, sweetheart," she said, standing up. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We can't let just anyone in off the streets around here."

"Oi! I'm not just anyone, me. I'm on an important mission." The man looked affronted.

Donna laughed. "You're just having me on. That bit of paper is all about the bees. You one of those internet people? It's all they can bloody talk about. It's so boring, especially while there's real things going on out there to look into."

The man smiled. "A nose for secrets, I like that. Just two minutes. Let me take a look at that computer system on the third floor. Bet you didn't even know there was a computer system on the third floor."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Places like this always have a computer system. And you'll have to leave. I'll get fired if I let you hang around, and then I'll never find out anything."

"I'm just going to sneak in the back, you know," he said.

"That's the spirit," Donna said encouragingly. "You'll get the knack of this yet. Just learn how to blend in better, and you'll get along fine."

The man laughed. "I like you," he said. "I'd ask you to come along with me, but I'm not really looking for a human companion right now."

"I'm waiting for a lift from someone in particular, actually," Donna said. "But thanks, I think."

"Doesn't look like waiting; looks like doing," he replied, and turned to go. "Watch out for those bees! I mean it!"

Twenty minutes later the building was being evacuated while all the sprinkler systems went off and the alarm system blared. Donna stood out in the back, soaked from head to toe. She thought she saw the man in the leather jacket run off, but she couldn't be sure. He disappeared too quickly to really be certain she'd seen him at all.

Doing, not waiting, she thought. It sounded good. She pulled out her phone, texted the temp agency to tell them that the job wasn't working out. Maybe she'd check out Adipose Industries next. No chance of getting stung by any bloody bees there, at any rate.
Kattakattahj on 2nd June 2010 07:23 (UTC)
Awesome! I love Donna and multi-Doctor stories, and you use both things very well. *goes to read original*
Worrals: Donna - gloriously.livii on 3rd June 2010 00:52 (UTC)
Thanks so much! :)
(Deleted comment)
Worrals: Ten/Donna!livii on 3rd June 2010 00:52 (UTC)
Thank you!
patron saint of neglected female characters: DW: companions of awesomenessrose_griffes on 2nd June 2010 21:42 (UTC)
Aw, FUN! This was a pleasure to read.
Worrals: it comes down to thislivii on 3rd June 2010 00:53 (UTC)
Thanks very much!
Sykirasykira on 7th June 2010 13:17 (UTC)
Fantastico! I enjoyed this so so much, I love your Donna voice, it's spot on,
Sykira: Awesomesykira on 8th June 2010 22:12 (UTC)
Also, did you crosspost to Doctor_Donna? They would love it too